When faced with an outcome that is not to one’s liking, many of us would tend to use a phrase like; “If only I had done such and such, none of this would have happened”. On hearing such a phrase, a knowledgeable person would point out that it is not permissible to say such a phrase.

However, a third party might get confused about this issue, since there are some narrations where our Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, is quoted to have used the words “if” of “if only”. The following lines will, Insha’Allah, clarify such confusion.

To start with, one should submit to the fact that everything that Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala and His Messenger, (SAWS), said is true. As for the words ‘if or ‘if only’ it should be understood they could be used in two ways:

First: To express grief for the past and distress what has been decreed. This is what is NOT allowed, as Allah, (SWT), says (interpretation of the meanings):

“O you who believe! Be not like those who disbelieve (hypocrites) and who say to their brethren when they travel through the earth or go out to fight: ‘IF they had stayed with us, they would not have died or been killed,’ so that Allah may make it a cause of regret in their hearts.” (3-156)

This is what the Prophet, (SAWS), forbade when he said; “…If anything happens to you, do not say, ‘IF ONLY I had done such and such, then such and such would have happened.’ Say instead, ‘Qaddara Allahu wa-maa shaa’a fa’al’ (Allah decreed and what He wills happens) for ‘IF’ opens the door to Shaytaan” (Muslim: 6716), i.e. it makes you vulnerable to grief and fear, which is harmful to you and is of no benefit.

Also, it may be interpreted as if you are questioning your decreed fate. Know that whatever befalls you, you could not have avoided and whatever does not happen to you, you could not have made it happen to you, as Allah says (interpretation of the meanings): “No calamity befalls, but by the Leave [i.e. Decision and Qadar (Divine Preordainment)] of Allah, and whosoever believes in Allah, He guides his heart” (64:11)

Qur’an commentators state that this is a reference to a man whom calamity happens, but he knows that it is from Allah, (SWT), so he accepts it and submits.

Second: When the word “IF” is used to convey beneficial knowledge, which is permissible knowledge, which is permissible, such as in the Aayah (interpretation of the meaning):

“If there had been therein (in the heavens and the earth) Aalihah (gods) besides Allah, then verily, both would have been ruined”. ( 21: 22)

Another type of use for ‘if’, where it is permissible, is to express love for goodness, such as saying, “If only I had what so and so has, I would do what he does,” Saying things like this is permissible. The Saheeh Hadeeth narrated in Sunan Ibn Maajah (3360), where the Prophet, (SAWS), commented on the story of Moosa, alayhe as-salam, with Al-Khidr, saying:
“If only he (Moosa) had had patience, so that Allah would have told us more of what happened between them” is of this nature.  Our Prophet, (SAWS), wished that Allah has told us more of their (Moosa and Al-Khidr) story. The Prophet here reminds us to have patience stressing the results that would usually come from it and the benefits that it can bring.

The statement did not contain an element of fear or grief, nor it was meant to express an objection to Allah’s decrees.