There is a Consensus of the scholars on the prohibition of Ghibah (backbiting) and on the fact that it is a major sin

Ibn Kathir, may Allah have mercy on him, said in his Tafsir of Surah al-Hujurat: “Ghibah is forbidden by consensus (Ijma’, and in general there is no exception to that, save in circumstances where it is necessary to speak about people, such as al-Jarh wa’l-Ta’dil (establishing the status and authenticity of Hadith narrators), and al-Nasihah (giving advice).”

Al-Qurtubi said: “The scholars agree that it is a major sin, and that committing this sin necessitates repentance (Tawbah) to Allah (SWT).”

This is apparent from the words of Allah (SWT):"… Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, you would abhor it…” (al-Hujurat 49:12).

Indications that Ghibah is a major sin are also to be found in the following Ahadith (Prophet’s sayings):

“What is worse than usury (Riba) is a man’s insulting the honour (’ird) of his brother.”

And the words of the Prophet (SAWS) to ‘A`ishah: “You have said a word which, if it could be mixed with the waters of the sea, it would have been.” [i.e., the enormity of it is such that even if it were mixed with the vast waters of the sea, it would not be concealed at all]

Common but invalid excuses for Ghibah

Shaytan (Satan) comes to people in many ways, to tempt them to backbite or gossip:

A. He says to some of them: What you are saying behind the person’s back is true, so there is nothing wrong with it.
But this is prohibited by the words of the Prophet (SAWS), such as the following:

(1) The two Ahadith mentioned above:
(a) Ghibah means that a man mentions something about a person which is true, behind his back.”
(b) The Hadith of Abu Hurayrah (RA). The Messenger of Allah (SAWS) said: “Do you know what Ghibah is?” They said: “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He said: “(It is) your mentioning about your brother something which he dislikes.” Someone asked: “What if what I say about my brother is true?” He said: “If what you say is true, then this is gossip (Ghibah); and if it is not true, then it is a slander.”

(2) The Ahadith quoted in al-Ahadith al-Mukhtarah, from the report of al-Diya’ al-Maqdisi, from Anas ibn Malik, who said: The Arabs used to serve one another on their journeys. Abu Bakr and ‘Umar had a man with them who used to serve them. (One day) they woke up and (found that) he had not prepared any food for them.

One of them said to the other: “This one is sleeping as if he was at home!” [i.e. criticizing him for sleeping too long]. So they woke him up and said to him: “Go to the Messenger of Allah (SAWS) and tell him: ‘Abu Bakr and ‘Umar send you Salaams and wish to request some food from you.” He said: “They have eaten.”

They were astonished to hear this, so they came to the Prophet (SAWS) and said: “O Messenger of Allah! We sent word to you to request food, and you said that we had eaten. What have we eaten?” He said: “The flesh of your brother. By Him in Whose hand is my soul, I can see his flesh between your teeth.” They said: “Pray for forgiveness for us.” He said: “let him pray for forgiveness for you!”

When they said, “This one is sleeping as if he were at home!” it was true, but the Prophet (SAWS) told them that they had eaten of his flesh.

People should beware of eating their brother’s flesh! - such as saying: How often so-and-so takes a bath! How much he eats! How mean he is! How much he sleeps!

(B) Some people will say: We are saying this behind his back for his own benefit, even if he doesn’t know what is good for him! They may even say; We are doing this in the interests of the community at large.

These claims may be dismissed on several counts:

(1) Any deed which is done must be done according to Shari’ah (Islamic Law). Good intentions alone, with no regard to anything else, will not be sufficient to save a person from the wrath of Allah. Indeed, the Mushrikun (pagans) claimed to have the best of intentions, but Allah (SWT) made their status very clear in the Qur’an, when He said:"… But those who take for protectors other than Allah (say): ‘We only serve them in order that they may bring us nearer to Allah`…” (al-Zumar 39:3)

They may have had this lofty intention - namely, to be brought closer to Allah (SWT) - but that did not prevent the Prophet (SAWS) and his noble Companions (RA) from fighting them.

Doing good deeds in the interests of an individual or the community cannot be achieved by backbiting people or spreading gossip about their private affairs!

(2) If the claims are true and said the best of intentions, then the method of acting upon those intentions must also be sound.

This is best achieved by speaking directly to the person, and encouraging him, with gentle wisdom, to adhere to the teaching of Islam and to avoid following his own whim