Manners are an integral part of Islam. It is what separates Islam from other religions by not only being a religion, but a way of life. The blessed prophet (pbuh) stated, “My Lord has taught me good manners and He mannered me well.” Ettiquette and manners were very new and different to the Jahiliyya ways of Mecca during the time of the Prophet and reflected the distinct identity of Muslims.

Now, in the 21st century, many rules of etiquette seem very American such as smiling and greeting strangers you may pass as you walk by them, not yawning out loud in public, and even cleanliness, to name a few. Surprising to some, these are actually Islamic manners that many have unfortunately stopped practicing or at least consider rules of the west.

Anyone who has read European history knows bathing and related issues of cleanliness were not a part of European life - this was brought to them as Islam grew and reached Spain. A well know hadith of the Prophet states that even smiling is a charity. His life examples teach us that he never released his hand first from a hand shake and he never turned his face away from others until they did. This is a sunnah we should all understand was practiced by a very busy man. We feel we lead such hectic lives that we may not have enough time to greet our neighbors as we walk from our cars to our homes, yet a man that had so many people coming to him for advice or knowledge gave each individual all the time and attention they needed. The Prophet had explained that, :The believer is an embodiment of love and affection and the man who neither loves others nor is loved by others has no good or virtue in him.”

Good manners draw non-Muslims to Islam. Further, these manners that Allah has taught the prophet and us to follow are good for human nature so are adapted by all humans as long as we present these to them by practicing them ourselves. The Fruit of Islam are well known for their clean, neat attire in ghettos in the U.S. Youth are drawn to them as role models just because of the way they look and present themselves with dignity.

Islamic adab doesn’t only deal with etiquette of eating and drinking but every aspect of our Islamic personality. This includes times of trial, as well as ease. Muslims are always optimistic even in the face of adversity. We trust Allah will look after us. Muslims know Allah is committed to have mercy on us (6:12,54). We also firmly believe all events are decreed by Allah with wisdom and purpose. The strength this gives us in the time of stress differentiates us from non-Muslims. We are not cowards. Even in times of anxiety and fear, we do not let these emotions overwhelm us and take over, putting us in a state of depression. Remember the story of Summaiya. She was the first martyr for the sake of Islam. She stayed firm in her belief regardless of the tortures she had to face until she was finally killed. Being fearful only degrades our honor as Muslims, and proves we are too attached to the world. Bullies in junior high only seek out the shy, odd, “loser” who has no friends. Similarly in the adult world, enemies of Islam can only overcome the Muslims if we are not firm in our resolve, uncomfortable in our environment and disunited. Hiding in our homes, refusing to interact with society and shying away from speaking up will only encourage those who wish to eradicate Islam. The prophet urged that “when the ummah will be easy prey, don’t hide from withholding truth, respond with eagerness…” Muslims should be a symbol of patience and perserverence. Remembering Allah is the most fool proof way of attaining this strength and patience. “Whatever of misfortune striketh you, it is what you have earned by your own deeds. And He forgiveth much. And all of you together should turn to God in repentance. “O Believers, so that you may get salvation.” (Ash-Shura, 30). The following is a beautiful dua to be recited during times of sadness that Abdullah ibn masood (RA) reported that the prophet said “Any one who is afflicted with pain or distress and says this prayer, God will surely turn his sorrow and grief into happiness and felicity.”

“O Allah, I am Your slave and the son of your slaves. My fate is in Your hands. Your judgement upon me is Your command. I ask you by every name You have taken for Yourself, revealed in Your Book, taught any of your creation or taken unto Yourself in the realm of the unknown, to make the Quran the spring of my heart, the light of my breast, the banisher of my sadness and the reliever of my despondancy. “

Muslims don’t wait to be asked for help. The prophet said, “And the beginning of ihsan is removing refuse from the public highway.” Muslims help in any way they can, regardless if it is a friend or stanger that is in need. Soon after the September 11th tragedy, a woman called my home. She and I didn’t know each other. She saw my phone number somewhere and knowing I was Muslim, just wanted to make sure my family and I were okay. Subhan-Allah. Muslims don’t pick and choose to only help Muslims. A life is a life. All of mankind is Allah’s creation and we should always do what we can to be of assistance. During the famine that struck Mecca, a time when the kufaar were very hostile to the new Muslims, the Prophet sent 500 dihrams to Abu Sufiyan to distribute to the needy. On another occasion, the Prophet visited the house of the woman that used to throw garbage at him on his way to the masjid because she had not bothered him that particular day. The reason she did not abuse him that day was due to illness. She was so surprised at his concern for her, she the enemy of the Prophet embraced Islam. Allah has taught us, “Believing men and believing women are protecting friends of one another.” (9:71).

We as Muslims need to be ideal role models for mankind. As Muslims, we will always be put under a microscope by the media and society in general. If a non-Muslim walks across the street dressed in wrinkled, smelly clothes, they will be ignored. If a Muslim does the same, people will make a mental note that the unkempt appearance is due to Islam. ‘Women are oppressed and uneducated so don’t have the means or dignity to dress well etc…’ As ambassadors for Islam, we need to make the best impression not just an impression. Some students for example just aim at passing by getting a C or D grade, others aim for an A, few aim not just for an A, but for the top score. in the class.

Muslims need to aim for the best impression, first in the eyes of Allah, and secondly for society with the intention of drawing them towards Islam.